The way to wellness can be found by using empathy as your compass.  Say to your mate what you long to hear yourself.  You know the ways you long to be recognized.  You know what sort of acknowledgment means the most to you.  You know the kind of validation that keeps you going, what sort of comments you treasure up in your own heart, right?  You long to be told things like this:

Because you long so much to be acknowledged in this way—to
be valued and prized as a person for your individual traits and for the good you do—you may find it hard to give away such praise or recognition.  You may want it so much that giving some to others may feel almost impossible to you.  It may feel like they are gaining and you are losing.  You may feel jealous. 

        Give it anyways.  When you genuinely give the praise you most want to hear yourself, you are giving a tremendous gift and likely gaining a great amount of (eventual) good will from the hearer.  Chances are your comment to them will sound as sweet in their ears as it would in yours.  So give it.  Build the other person up.  Let it be their turn.  Give first. 

        After all, this is your life-mate, right?  The parent of your children.  The one you hope to stay married to for years and years.  Every kindness you do for them builds up your whole family.  In time your beloved may catch on and start to send some compliments and praise your way.  You are showing him how.  But what if he doesn't?
What if he keeps soaking up the praise without sending any back your way?  Then do this: